An update.

Good evening. I thought It was about time for a little update on how things are going whilst the sisters out with her boyfriend.

I went to a bootsale today. Huge achievement! I kept calm. I gave in to a compulsion though. It's actually an interesting example of how ocd can make ya feel. Me and mandy were walking back to the car and mum was walking back to the car from a different direction. I get this thought. If I get there before her something bad will happen. Stupidly my heart starts beating faster I feel the panic rise. My face gets hot. In a second I suddenly feel like If I don't time this right someone I love will die today, it'll be my fault. Rationally that makes no sense but it's all my mind can think. So I had to slow down and match the speed of mum walking. Making sure I get there at the same time. It's So stupid. Lol.

I'm starting to taper down of the pred by 5mg every week now. Whenever I'm on the pred a lot of strange things happen to my body and mind. It's well documented that this drug can send you totally crazy by the nickname 'Hell drug'. I'm feeling a bit emotional. I cried at the awkward family photos book yesterday, it seemed so beautiful. lol. But the most worrying is the rage. Oooh the rage. It can be something small but I want to just smash absolutely everything. I get so hateful and before I know it I'm like the freaking tasmanian devil running around all angry you could throw any WWE wrestler at me and I will bring them down!. I've cried in to my sisters arms in complete frustration at it.  It just consumes you. The thing is I am not an angry person at all so it's so out of character. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's chemicals. Just chemicals.

I'm pretty hungry all the time aswell and lastly in the moan fest against pred my faaace. Bloated moon face is back. Everytime I see myself in a reflection I make frog noises. Mandy tells me not to but y'know it makes me laugh.

She made me feel better about myself but dyeing my hair red. I learnt I look awful ginger.  But nice red.

So yeah. I am taking all my medication and I can honestly say that. I feel really sick a lot, and the cramps in my stomach can get pretty bad. I'm still having to run to the loo more times than I should whilst being on all the medication. I have to email my IBD nurse about it but I don't wanna bother her.
The asacol has made me bruise a lot. Nasty bruises, I'm thinking of getting some cover up for my legs so that on holiday my legs won't look all bruised.

My sister has hurt her foot which sucks. She hobbles around the place now. She's on anti-inflammatories. She's not working tommorrow and probably not monday, then she has to go back tuesday. I just hope she doesn't damage it more.

So yeah... all in all I am feeling pretty happy. Doing drawing again which is good. Tattoo fund is over £70. Now I need to think of what tattoo I want.  I'm keeping positive.

Currently ejoying these boxsets.