Corey taylor and back to Horley

I went to Corey Taylor in Birmingham. It was pretty good but of course my UC and OCD made it a little awkward. The thing I have learnt though is to not dwell on the bad bits. In the interest of honesty thou I will dwell a little. It was only as we got near the venue I suddenly got panicky and needed the loo. My dad took me and Mandy and her boyfriend because he is a sweetheart and knows I would never go if I didn't have him there in case anything goes wrong (panic attack or an accident). I always panic when getting near the venue. Everytime. The tears. Once or twice before I've even jumped from the car in search of a loo. Thats the desperation of it.
Anyways we got there and I went in a pub used the loo and we joined the line. IT TOOK FOREVER. I was in tears. Mandy and her boyfriend kept calming me down. When you think you're gonna have an accident it's the worse and when you don't know how long till you can get to a loo, urgh. Then you're crying an panicking and people are looking. So the anxiety is just unbearable. BUUUUUUT.....I did it. I made the line. I got in the venue. I enjoyed the concert. I stood with everyone. Made it home.

Another event that happened is we went to Horley where we used to live and went to school. We haven't been there in 6 or 7 years so it was a pretty strange experience. I felt awkward because I am ashamed that I still haven't got the illness under control and I am ashamed that I don't have a job because of the illness. I know it's not my fault but most times I feel like I am doing worse than I was when I was diagnosed. We had arranged to meet up with a few people and I'm pleased to report they were all understanding and nice. It was good. I also found a lot more of my confidence that I had lost over the last few years.

Me and Dad. 

So Medication update-. I'm now on prednisolone again (grrrr) and I'm on autoimmune drugs, I have blood tests every week which is annoying as I have to get a cab there. I was put back on the asacol (I stopped taking it accidently woops). Whilst on the trip my back and what I presume is my kidneys hurt like hell. Throbbing pain. I was worried but after a few days it was better. I have bruises everywhere! I think it's the asacol. I'm still on my depression meds which are working good and I have diazapam for when I get upset.

I'm feeling angry again. But I just need to stay chilled. I am concerned that I my tummy is still playing me up even on the pred but I really don't want to go back to the hospital so quick so I will give it a week or two before I get in touch with my IBD nurse, Sonia.

Mandy is going to die my hair bright red this week! yay. 

My rocks! Mandy and Dad.