It's been all about the uc lately. Everytime I think I feel awful the next day I'm like 'pah! yesterday was nothing. compared to how terrible I feel today'. Still, I am a great believer of everything happens for a reason and instead of thinking about how awful this disease is. I try and think about how nice it is to curl up in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate, watch some animated batmans and really enjoy the time I'm not on the loo!

I've had this disease since I was 14-15 so that makes it 9 or 10 years I've dealt with it. I won't deny that I sometimes feel like nothings changed since that first year. I still find my body so unpredictable and making plans for things like leaving the house and trusting that my UC won't play up seems near impossible. I'm also terribly tired of medications working for a couple of months to help then things getting worse again. The consultant's and blood test and threats of another Stigmoidoscopy. Not to mention the accusing looks from the doctors when you don't get better. Like I've done something wrong.

Then again. I was reading Michael J Fox's book about parkinson's disease and saw that he referred to Pd as a 'gift' because it lead to so many new experiences and changed his perspective on things. That got me thinking, as hard as it seems could UC be a 'gift'?
    What have I got out of it? Well first off me and my sister are so incredibly close now. Before I went in to hospital we would yell and bicker both of us nearing our teenage years, we couldn't be in the same room without arguing. I could never back then imagine we'd be sharing everything now. Living together, money, A dog, drawing, Supernatural, Batman, House, Mentalist, Books even clothes! We hardly ever argue now and when we do it's because of concern. You could say that might have happened anyway without UC. No. She has looked after me since the day the doctors admitted that there might be something wrong.

I remember being in hospital and how terrified she was seeing me there. When I got out of hospital I was so exhuasted I would just lay in a cover on the sofa all day between running to the loo. she'd always be there fussing over me. She still does it. In school some stupid boy a few years older than her said something like "Did you hear your sisters Dead" and she punched him! Square on the nose. Lol! My parents were called in to the school and everything.
Later she quit college for me. She gave up her dreams for me. She never ever has held that against me. She has never ever called me a burden. This uc experience has made me see how much She, my little sister, the little brat she was changed so quickly in in to someone who is always there, who takes care of me. Who on Monday came home early from work taking the rest of the day unpaid because she wanted to take care of me. Run me a bath, make me something to eat, hold my hand while I fell asleep and stop me crying. She's only 21 and I think she is amazing. If this was a parallel universe where she was the ill one I hope so much that I'd be as caring as her....I doubt it lol, but I can hope.

Uc has also made me realise that normal is good. I am so happy that I have a house we rent, a great relationship with Mum her husband and my Dad, and of course Mandy. I handle our money Okay, we don't have loans,credit cards or store cards. The best days for me are drawing, watching a bit of Tv, listening to some music having a nice dinner and being up all night not because of uc but because we're on our laptops sending each other music files.