Welcome Welcome. Therapist.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Jo.
When I was 15 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative colitis. An incurable bowel disease.  Then about a year ago I was also diagnosed with Obsessive compulsive Disorder. That makes life quite...Umm interesting(?).
 
 I don't exactly know what I hope to achieve in writing this. Giving support? Recieving support? My opinions? or just a way to put in writing what it feels like?. Maybe it will help organize everything?. Secretly I think I hope to look back on this in a couple of years, y'know after they find a magical cure for both UC and OCD. Lol.

I don't want to sound smug, but I think given the circumstances I do pretty damn well. I owe alot of that to the fact that my sister is a harsh bitch who won't let me feel sorry for myself. But then again when I'm stuck on the loo for hours feeling as rough as a dog because of Uc  and having panic attacks because of OCD. Getting myself in to a right state I'm not so smug, and don't feel like I'm doing so well.

So here I am. Entering in to the great land of blogs. God I feel full of myself. Do I actually expect anyone to read this? Is that sentence really just a way to get reassurance from anyone who happens to read this? Am I an attention whore for doing this?. Am I an attention whore for saying that?....theres my anxiety again.
 
Just so you know I have just finished Cognitive behavioural therapy. I done it for over 12 months seeing my therapist every 2 weeks. On Wednesday It was agreed that session would be my last. So here I am. Out in the big bad world with no therapist. Scary stuff.
I need to book up an appointment at the doctors to get some anxiety meds.

With UC, I am on asacol only at the moment. I take immodium at least once a day. I know I should be on more meds. The blood is back. But I had just finished a course of steriods when I last saw my doctor and he said I shouldn't be having blood.  Um. Okay....Then said to cut out milk incase it was an allergy. It made no difference. Then he set me up for another Sigmoidoscopy but told me to cancel it if I felt better. *Looks guilty* I cancelled it!. I know I shouldn't but I panicked. The hospital phoned to ask me if I was going and I said I felt better. It all happened so quick. Also I don't want to go back on steroids. If it gets worse I will book up an appointment.